Here are just a few of the many things I appreciate about you:

I saw tremendous courage in you when you took steps to resolve long-standing issues or made personal choices to follow a dream in your life. Sharing that with you allowed me to take steps in my own life to resolve hard issues and make personal choices.

I saw immense strength in you when you had to deal with many difficult issues all at once - both professional and personal. That gave me strength to continue doing what I had to do in my own life as I officially entered the "sandwich generation."

I saw great compassion in you when you had to deal with bosses, colleagues, and employees. Sometimes I lapse and your examples helped me right myself when I careened out of control!

I saw true leadership in you when you spoke out on an issue that needed resolving. Many times all it takes is one voice to lead. I learned to hone my leadership skills by watching you.

Thank you.

Becky Choi

In the interest of learning how to appreciate in an authentic and meaningful way, I browsed the web to see what I might be missing. I found a site called Heartquotes that got me started with the following advice:

[A]ppreciation is easy—even if it starts out kind of snide like, "I appreciate the fact I haven't fallen flat on my face ... yet." One strong dose of appreciation can turn your perceptions around 180 degrees. Doc Childre and Howard Martin, HeartMath Solution Heartquotes

So it's easy to see how you can use appreciation on yourself or others. Just try it. Before you go try it, however, let me share just a bit more of my web browsing. It was an eye-opening experience!

There are any number of sites for appreciating musicians, actors, authors, artists. There are an equal or larger number appreciating obscure things I would not have ever imagined! British voles, for example. There are other sites I'll let you find on your own, just put the word "appreciation" into your search engine. For laughs (and you might be impressed), see the sites listed below!!

The outcome is the same. People appreciate alot of different things and I can find something to appreciate about any situation or person. For the really helpful advice, see the next article.

Appreciation can be the recognition of excellence in doing something, anything, or nothing at all. It's not just about the work people are hired to do. It could be the way in which someone does their work or doesn't do their work. "Thank you for a quick decision" or "Thank you for not delaying the project."

Most people like to be recognized and appreciated. It is a skill we underutilize on ourselves. We typically want others to do the recognizing and appreciating without having to ask for it. Somehow, asking for it renders it inauthentic.

Appreciation and recognition does not come naturally to all leaders. It's not that they don't want it or can't give it, but it is not their FIRST instinctive thing to do. If you've taken the Myers-Briggs assessment with groupforward, then you know some leadership temperaments come to it second and thus have to consciously bring it to the fore in order to hone their leadership skills. Those who think of it first have to hone other skills. Either way, leaders must find ways to appreciate and recognize people in ways that are authentic. It does not mean you cannot have help in doing it. See the links below for some examples of what help is out there.

Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Ask yourself what you can authentically appreciate about someone. It helps to think about what you might like to be appreciated for yourself.
2. If it's a small thing, put it in writing and/or deliver it in front of others in a way that it is heard.
3. If it's a big thing, ask staff to help plan the delivery. You get the benefit of their energy as well as their input as to what will fly or be meaningful to the person/people receiving the appreciation.

Appreciation does not have to be loud and splashy, cheerleader-y or long and emotionally delivered. It need only be authentic.

Becky Choi, groupforward Principal